Thieving Scoundrels

So just a quick story...

I went in to work the other day at the station and during the Giants game remembered that I had some Reese's Pieces up in our cupboard. I jumped up and threw open the door. There they were...with the top open. Upon further investigation I found one left in the box. An entire movie theatre style box of Reese's Pieces and there was a single piece left.

What I should have told you was that I bought the candies with the intention of leaving them in the cupboard and proving that someone would take them on my days off. I told one of my co-workers about my little plan and sure enough someone took and ate my treats.

Now I told you that story to tell you this one.

The thieves from the station returned to work and brought me replacement Pieces. I took and opened a box of them at home and had them on my night stand as I watched a show with Robby taking a nap. Later when he woke up I gave him a piece and watched him do a little happy dance as he discovered what was in that small candy shell. I put the box back on my nightstand and didn't think twice about it.

I went out and ran an errand for my MIL. While I was up at her house my wife calls and tells me that she caught our 19 month old with a box of candy. He climbed up and got the box of Pieces off of my night stand and polished them off...except for one single solitary Reese's Piece.

I couldn't believe it. Twice in one week I had a box of candy stolen and they left me a single piece in the box. Just sitting in there mocking me. No matter where I go it seems that I'm not supposed to have candy. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something...

Nap Wrestling

My son needs naps.

There is no way around this fact. He turns into a high pitched wailing tornado around 4 pm if he hasn't been put down for a siesta. I mean a F5 on the Fujita scale, ultimate devastation! Our living room can go from spotless to thrashed in less than a half hour. I don't even know how its possible. He's only 19 months old, where did he learn these techniques.

So in order to combat these afternoon meltdowns we use the time honored tradition of the Nap. The only problem with this is he isn't a fan. If you catch him on those rare occasions he will take a Baba and snuggle into my chest and drift off to dreamland. More than likely its going to go down with more punches, kicks and blood than a UFC pay per view. The only advantage I have is size and determination.

He is a dirty fighter too! Some of his favorite moves are the eye gouge, nut kick, and head butt. All of these pale in comparison to his last ditch effort, The Entire Face Scratch! He takes his fingers (this is most effective if he needs his nails trimmed, which seems to be every other day) and uses my face as his personal blackboard digging and pulling all the way down. It is every bit as painful as your imagining right now, and more so because he loves to insert those blades into every opening they can find along the way. Bloody noses lips and blurred vision are usually accompanied with his naps.

These are the moments that I wonder whose kid he really is? Or what is possessing him? I don't know whether to put him into a bear hug and hope it smothers him into sleep or toss him across the room and run for my life.

This is the moment when it's all worth it, and I've won!

After all of that I know victory is right around the corner when he puckers up for his nap time kiss. All the violence ends and he becomes my sweet little boy again. His eyes close with his long eye lashes fluttering for the last time and he snuggles in. I know that I've finally won when his quiet little snore begins to tickle my shoulder. In that moment, and for the next two hours usually, it was all worth it.